Awkwardly Phone Obsessed
Waking up on a Monday morning with an increased awareness of my communication with others would have been great any day, except for today. With the amount of quizzes and lab write-ups I had today, it’s safe to say that I was a little stressed. However, judging by the looks of terror on my roommates’ faces and the extra distance they kept from me all morning, it’s clear that my bad mood was more than apparent to everyone.
As my day progressed, I was met with constant questions such as “are you ok?” and “what’s wrong?” Even sitting in class, my friends could feel the tension emanating off of me. Hours later, I received multiple texts of encouragement from my friends, who clearly vividly remembered my bad mood from earlier on. Although my friends were hesitant to reach out to me in person, they still tried to reach out to me, albeit not face-to-face. In a way, I preferred talking about my level of stress over the phone rather than in person, because I am sure that I would have become much more emotional in person. Over the phone, I feel a certain level of emotional disconnect, which can either be good or bad, depending on the situation. In my situation today, I very much enjoyed feeling disconnected from my feelings.
All day long, I am constantly in contact with someone over the phone, whether it be a text, a phone call, or a snapchat. When it came time to turn my phone off for an hour, my main concern was that I would turn my phone back on after an hour and have zero messages. Throughout the hour, in which time I did my homework, I was constantly thinking about how much of a loser I would feel like if none of my friends tried to contact me during all that time. Twelve minutes in, I went to check my phone for any messages, but my phone was off. Feeling like a bit of an idiot, I went back to my homework and the rest of the hour flew by. As excitement bubbled through me, I turned my phone back on. I had a total of one text message, which was only from my roommate. It was automatically clear to me that I waste way too much time checking my phone for messages, when, chances are, I probably don’t have any. For the rest of the day, I kept my phone on the other side of the room, only checking it periodically. I felt so liberated after shutting my phone off for an hour. I plan on trying to check my phone less often, and use that time to actually be productive as opposed to spending an hour and a half on Twitter. It is going to be weird using my phone less often, but it will definitely be beneficial to my grades and relationships with my family and friends.