Choose Your Words Wisely
I have known for a long time that I liked butter, however I had never written a song about that love until this morning. While eating breakfast up in the reading room I filled my waffle with butter and explained to my friend how much I loved butter. He politely nodded and agreed "yeah, it's good", but for some reason I would not drop the subject. I proceeded to have a dialogue with my butter, make whooshing sound effects, and make up my own little ballad for butter.
I do this a lot. Well, not the singing about butter thing, but I refuse to be silent when eating or standing around or at most any moment of my life. I get antsy a lot and instead of just fidgeting a lot of times I start to "word vomit". Sometimes it is amusing (i.e. butter breakfast) but other times it can be quite embarrassing. Sometimes I start to say things I do not mean or I make really lame jokes and instead of a nice calm silence that my words ruined, the moment gets awkward.
Another thing I do a lot is bail out on words and thoughts. For example, while talking to my roommate today I started to just make noises in the middle of a word and I just did not finish my thought. She laughed at me, but this is also something I seem to do often. Sometimes it is because I really my idea is stupid or just altogether unnecessary, sometimes it is because my thoughts run faster than my mouth, and other times it is out of pure laziness. I try to only do these things though when I am with people I am comfortable with.
When I have to speak in front of a class, or to a teacher, or to a new person I think about my words very carefully. I try to plan out my exact words and even the conversation in my head. I do not want to embarrass myself in front of strangers, potential new friends, or my teachers. I'm also this way on social media; when I tweet or post a picture or anything I make sure it is exactly how I want it. I want to make sure people who see what I post will understand, and hopefully like it (in all senses of the word). When it comes to my reputation with people who do not know me as well as my good friends I am very careful with words, in order to not taint their thoughts of me. While this is probably good, it could also be bad. I could be hiding my most authentic self from others by filtering my self. It is a double edged sword.
Going without technology for a bit really pleased me. I like being disconnected and unplugged from the world, but I feel as though I do not get the opportunity much because I feel like I should be connected. It was nice to take a break, to not have my mind buzzing with what is going on. I also got my work done a lot faster. It was good to get rid of the distractions.
I have learned from this exercise the different ways I communicate with people and the ways I function in conversation. The ways I communicate very much correspond with my personality: uncensored with friends and reserved with others. I do not think that my methods of communication are bad, but it would not hurt to tweak them to make my thoughts come across more effectively as to not sell myself short.